sublet interview

I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes, we get really bored of studying and find really unique/creative ways to deal with it. I’m somewhat proud to admit that throughout the last two years of med school, I have only really self-diagnosed myself with two things:

  • Narcolepsy
    I’m pretty sure I don’t actually have this (it’s more likely to be prolonged sleep deprivation), but I can fall asleep within 3 minutes anywhere/at any time and start having all kinds of crazy dreams. I also get hypnagogic & hypnopompic hallucinations whenever I fall asleep in the catacombs
  • Compulsive Eating Disorder
    I spend most of my day thinking about food/planning the next week’s worth of meals, and am very capable of stuffing down somewhat frightening amounts of food in one sitting. In all honesty, I probably don’t have this either (I just really, really like food), but it would explain my constant preoccupation with food. ._.

Anyway, my other favorite pastime study break (aside from food + the gym) is pranking other unsuspecting friends/students. Past examples have included supermanning past my friend’s study window. About a month ago, one of our classmates was discussing the possibility of subletting my friends’ apartment while they were in Ohio for the first couple months of rotations, so they thought it’d be hilarious to pretend to interview her. They took it a step further and asked me to be the secretary/scribe, and we all dressed up to make it more official/believable.

There’s a chance that we went slightly overboard with this, but we figured we might as well go all-out to make it convincing.

We even left a water bottle and a snack at her seat!

They started off by noting that she was late and asking her to sign in (while they posted an “Interview in Progress” sign on the window). They also asked for her resume, and looked at each other with a disapproving sigh when she said she didn’t have it with her.

The questions started out somewhat normally:

1)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā  How do you feel about pets and are you planning to have one?
2)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā 
Do you plan on having visitors over? Are you planning to have parties at the apartment?
3)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā 
Do you smoke? Drink? Use illicit drugs?

(This is where I chimed in so she’d know I was actually taking notes on her responses.)

4)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā  We understand you were the class secretary. Can you please describe your responsibilities?
5)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā 
Please describe 3 strengths and weaknesses.

I’d like to note that one of the strengths she listed was “great driver,” and my friend asked in all seriousness, ā€œAre you referring to the time you almost ran over me and my at-the-time-fiance?ā€

6)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā  Which color of the rainbow would you be and why?
7)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā 
What time of the day do you usually start drinking?
8)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā 
Our administrative dean walks in here wearing a sombrero. What would he say and why is he here?
9)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā 
What song best describes your work ethic?
10)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā 
Say you invited us over for dinner. What would you serve us?
11)Ā Ā Ā Ā  How would you rate us as interviewers?

She gave them a 4 because she was completely unprepared for said “interview.” She thinks we are terrible people, but is glad that we had so much fun scaring the crap out of her.

Permanent link to this article: https://www.fairyburger.com/sublet-interview/

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